Rong Yue hadn’t expected Gu Helian to suddenly move closer. By the time she thought to dodge, it was already too late. Forced to lean back against the couch, her back pressed against the windowsill, she found herself trapped in his arms.
"Gu Helian…"
Just as Rong Yue was about to speak, the man before her abruptly lowered his head, his expression daring her to try and argue. Her eyelashes fluttered uncontrollably, her cheeks burning. "Get up first."
"Why should I? It’s not like this is the first time."
"Gu Helian! Stop talking nonsense!!"
Seeing her flushed face, Gu Helian leaned in, his dark eyes glinting. "What nonsense? That night during Qixi Festival, who was the one who clung to me and refused to let go? Who dragged me down and wouldn’t release me? I tried to take you back to your room, but you-"
"Shut up!"
Rong Yue’s face burned crimson as fragmented, chaotic memories surged uncontrollably in her mind.
The man above her seemed intent on tormenting her further, lowering his voice to whisper in her ear, "I didn’t want to take you like that, but you were relentless. You kissed me, saying you wanted it too, tearing at my clothes. We were just like this, with you holding me tight, remember?"
"Stop talking!"
As Gu Helian’s lips brushed her neck, Rong Yue was overwhelmed by the memory of that night, how she had lost herself in pleasure, the shameless words she had gasped out.
She pressed her hands against his chest as if scalded, trying to push him away, but no matter how hard she struggled, he didn’t budge.
Tilting her head back to evade his scorching lips, she forced herself to ignore the shivers racing down her skin, her body taut as she argued, "I was drunk that night—out of my mind! And you could have left, but you chose to indulge me!"
"So what if I did?"
Gu Helian leaned even closer. "I’ve never hidden my feelings for you. Even if you didn’t realize it before, haven’t you sensed even a little of it these past months?"
"If you had ignored me, fine, I could have waited. Waited for you to forget Xie Tianyu. But you looked back at me. You feel something for me too. So why should I hold back?"
That night, in the throes of passion, she had moaned his name.
When they had clung to each other at their most intimate, her soft cries had been for him—Gu Helian.
But now, seeing the panic in her eyes, the way she tensed as if ready to flee from his intensity, Gu Helian’s aggressive demeanor suddenly faltered. His gaze darkened, his voice laced with bitterness.
"Or… do you still not forget Xie Tianyu?"
Rong Yue froze. When she looked up, Gu Helian’s face was shadowed with pain, all his earlier fierceness gone.
"I know you’ve always thought I could never measure up to him. Back then, I adored you for years. We grew up together. I met you first. But you never gave me a chance. You fell for him at first sight, while I never even entered your heart. Even now, after he betrayed you, you still can’t let him go. So what does that make me?"
"That night… I thought my years of waiting had finally been answered. I was overjoyed, thinking you were willing to try with me. But now I see you were just feeling guilty, toying with me in a moment of weakness. You refuse to mention us to Tangning because you never planned a future with me."
"I… was just deluding myself."
Gu Helian had always been bold and unrestrained. The head of the Gu family in Zhou, a man of immense wealth who bowed to no one. But now, his eyes were downcast, his face twisted in self-mockery, like the sun and moon obscured by dark clouds. His lashes trembled faintly, his eyes reddening as he moved to pull away.
But before he could rise, arms suddenly wrapped around his waist.
"Gu Helian… it wasn’t just playing around."
Rong Yue held him tightly, her voice soft. "I never meant to take advantage of you. Even if I was drunk that night… I’ll take responsibility."
Gu Helian looked down at her.
Though uncomfortable, Rong Yue cautiously leaned closer. "I haven’t been thinking about Xie Tianyu. And I never thought you were delusional. I just… didn’t know how to bring it up with Tangning."
She cared deeply for Tangning and didn’t want her to think she was fickle or shameless.
Her divorce from Xie Tianyu had only been finalized less than three months ago. If she immediately became involved with Gu Helian, even if she had long since lost all feelings for Xie Tianyu after years of deception, outsiders would only see a woman abandoning a husband of nearly two decades.
Gu Helian had already been entangled in the affairs of the Xie household under the guise of being a sworn brother of the Rong family. If news spread that they were together so soon after Xie Tianyu’s death, what would people think?
They would assume they had been carrying on an affair all along and that Gu Helian had helped her scheme against Xie Tianyu out of lust.
Rong Yue couldn’t bear the thought of Gu Helian being slandered, nor could she risk Tangning misunderstanding.
Gently, she pressed her cheek against his chest, as if to soothe him.
"Gu Helian, I’m not rejecting you. But gossip can destroy lives. Tangning hasn’t even begun marriage negotiations yet. She can’t afford to have an aunt notorious for indecency. And if the imperial family learns I’ve taken a new lover so soon, the Emperor’s sympathy for me could easily turn to anger."
"Can you… wait a little longer?"
Her arms tightened around his waist as she whispered, "If my own heart is weak, then I deserve whatever scorn comes my way. But I can’t ruin Tangning or the Rong family’s reputation."
She felt wretched, knowing full well the depth of Gu Helian’s feelings, and that she returned them, yet still fearing the judgment of others.
Her fingers clenched the fabric of his robe, her apology trembling on her lips until he suddenly pulled her into a crushing embrace.
"I’m sorry."
"Gu Helian…"
"I shouldn’t have pushed you."
Gu Helian held her tightly. At first, he had only wanted to stay by her side, content if she so much as glanced his way. But after that night, he had lost all restraint.
Greed had taken over and he wanted more. He wanted recognition, to stand openly as her man, for the world to know he belonged to Rong Yue.
But he had forgotten her position.
"It’s my fault for being selfish. I shouldn’t have pressured you."
When he felt dampness against his shoulder, his chest constricted in panic.
"Zhizhi, don’t cry."
Flustered, Gu Helian released her, all traces of his earlier arrogance gone.
"I was wrong, I'm a bastard, a scoundrel. Please don’t cry, Zhizhi…"
Rong Yue was well past the age of a blushing maiden. Even when Xie Tianyu had showered her with hollow affection, she had rarely shed tears in front of others.
But now, watching this man, usually so composed, frantically call her by her childhood name, clumsily wiping her tears, she only cried harder.
Gu Helian was on the verge of tearing his hair out. Cradling her like a child, he wiped her cheeks in a frenzy.
"I’ll behave, alright? I won’t ask for recognition. I won’t tell Little Haitang anything. You can do whatever you want."
"Ancestor, don’t cry. I’ll agree to anything you say."
====
T/N: Whipped
==========
You can read ahead to chapterr 470 (100+ extra chapters) here
Comments
Post a Comment