The little lady’s lips curved high, as if she were genuinely happy for him. She said, “There are countless capable people under Brother Xiao’s command. You can’t always rely on old bonds of loyalty. If you go to the northwest and earn some military merits, you’ll secure a good position in the future.”
Xiao Yan’s status meant that those who followed him would eventually enter the court. But whether they’d hold high or low positions, whether they’d earn favor, couldn’t rely solely on the current master-servant bond.
Canglang and Jinyun were always at Xiao Yan’s side, while Tu Bai and Zhang Bin fought their battles elsewhere.
For Hang Li to rise, the northwest was indeed the best path.
Xue Ru tilted her head slightly. “I’ve heard the northwest is full of sandstorms, and Beiling is restless. If you go, you must be careful everywhere. Even for your future, you have to stay safe.”
“Oh, right, Brother Hang, are you going to Fengcheng or Linping, or somewhere else? Are you going alone, or with others…?”
Hang Li answered patiently, “Not alone. I’m going on the master’s orders, with General Fu of the Dragon Court Guards to Linping. But if war breaks out in the northwest, I’ll head to Fengcheng.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Two or three years at the shortest, five or six at the longest.”
“That long?”
Xue Ru paused, but before Hang Li could respond, she murmured to herself, “That makes sense. Rising in the military isn’t something that happens overnight. Three or five years is normal. So, Brother Hang, when are you leaving? I’ll prepare a gift to wish you a smooth journey.”
“Two days from now.”
“…”
Xue Ru’s eyelashes trembled. “Two days? So soon?”
She had thought there was more time…
A strange bitterness welled up in her heart. After a moment of silence, she said, “Then I’d better hurry to prepare the gift, or it’ll have to be a congratulatory present for later. By then, you’ll be so accomplished you might not even care for my worthless little gift. Maybe when you return to the capital, you’ll already be a grand, awe-inspiring general…”
“No.”
Hang Li suddenly spoke.
Xue Ru blinked. “What?”
“I said I won’t look down on it. As long as it’s from you, I’ll treasure it.”
Hang Li gazed at the young lady looking up at him. Suddenly, he felt his earlier so-called magnanimity was far too self-important.
He wished for her peace and joy, her carefree happiness, but even more, he wished for a place in her heart.
He was jealous of Di Tao’s fervor, envious of Li Chi’s closeness. He wanted to properly confess his feelings, to let her know his heart wasn’t a fleeting whim, no matter what the future held.
Hang Li said with utmost seriousness, “Aru, I’m not going to the northwest just for my future.”
“I want to stand tall, so people won’t just see me as the guard from Jiyun Lane. I want to be like the master, able to stand openly before the woman I admire and tell her I love her.”
“I want my feelings to bring her honor, not criticism. I want people to speak of this affection with admiration. Aru, I want us, if we ever come together, to stand side by side without you ever having to lower your head before anyone, even without the lady and the others.”
Xue Ru’s eyelashes quivered. She hadn’t expected Hang Li to confess so suddenly, nor had she imagined such words from someone usually so silent and stern.
Her heart raced, her hands unconsciously tightening around the account book. When she spoke, she was flustered. “Brother Hang, I…”
“You don’t need to answer me.”
Hang Li’s lips curved, his smile softening the hardness of his face.
“I hadn’t planned to tell you my feelings before, because even I don’t know what I’ll face in the northwest. You’re the first girl I’ve ever liked. I want you to live freely, without carrying burdens you shouldn’t bear.”
“I’m telling you this not to demand an answer, and you don’t need to take it too seriously.”
“The battlefield is unpredictable, life and death uncertain. If I survive and you haven’t found someone you love, I’ll return to the capital in glory and confess to you properly. Then you can decide whether to accept me.”
“If I die early in the northwest, don’t be too sad. Live your life as you would…”
“Brother Hang!”
Xue Ru’s heart jolted, and she interrupted instinctively, her brows furrowing with disapproval.
Seeing her reaction, Hang Li couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just saying. I value my life and will do everything to come back safely. Maybe by then, you’ll have made a name for yourself at the academy.”
“I still want to see you and the lady build the women’s academy, to see you stun the world and amaze everyone. How could I let myself die so easily?”
Seeing his usual teasing smile, Xue Ru’s tension eased.
For the first time, Hang Li reached out and gently ruffled her hair. “My confession is my own matter. Don’t take it too seriously. If you meet someone you like in the capital while I’m in the northwest, don’t feel troubled by what I’ve said today.”
Xue Ru tilted her head. “And if I really marry someone else, you won’t be sad?”
Hang Li chuckled. “How could I not be sad? I’d be heartbroken, probably drowning my sorrows in drink. But if you’re happy, give me three, five, or ten years, and I’ll convince myself to let go.”
He wanted her, but not to bind her.
Xue Ru looked at Hang Li quietly, trying to discern the truth in his words.
Hang Li met her gaze, his dark eyes reflecting only her.
Xue Ru asked softly, “Can I know when you started liking me?”
“When you were still with the Song family.”
Hang Li laughed softly, as if recalling something. “That night you came to Jiyun Lane to find the lady. On your way back, you were scared to tears by a stray cat darting out of the alley. I thought, how could such a timid girl dare to sneak behind the Song family’s back to pass messages to the lady? Then I saw you lift your skirt and crawl through a corner.”
Xue Ru’s face froze. She took half a step back, glaring at Hang Li. “How do you know that?”
Hang Li said, “That day, the lady was worried about you and asked me to escort you back.”
Xue Ru’s face flushed red and pale in turns. She never imagined Hang Li had seen her so early, let alone witnessed her crawling through a dog hole.
Her earlier shyness from his confession turned to embarrassment, her face burning. Suddenly, she remembered something and pointed at Hang Li. “So it was you who beat up Song Tan that day, making him fall into the lotus pond and break his leg?”
Hang Li nodded. “He was speaking vilely. I couldn’t stand it and meant to teach him a lesson, but who knew he’d be so unlucky.”
Xue Ru: “…So Sister knew about this too?”
Hang Li gave a soft “mm.”
Xue Ru’s face turned a mix of green and white.
Hang Li, slow to notice something was wrong, stepped forward. “What’s the matter? You look upset…”
*Slap!*
His outstretched hand was sharply swatted away. Xue Ru glared at him fiercely, turned, and stomped off with her account book in hand.
Sister Qian was right.
Men are no good!!
Her image in Sister’s eyes was completely ruined!!!====================
You can read ahead to chapterr 770 (100+ extra chapters) here
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